If one of your friends spoke to you like you speak to yourself, would you still be friends?
When I was in my early 20’s, a friend gave me a cassette tape by Shad Helmstetter called “Ten minutes of incredible you.” The tape started out by saying, “You are incredible, you have charm, personality, people like you, they like to be around you…” I repeatedly listened to this tape and recorded it so that it looped several times on the cassette. (For those of you who have never experienced the joys of cassettes, this is just one of the techniques we used back in the day.) Whenever I felt down, I put in that tape and my mood immediately shifted. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I listened to that cassette. When I moved, I put that tape in a very safe place – so safe in fact that it was lost for many years.
I recently found that tape and made an interesting discovery. Although it was nice to have Shad once again tell me how incredible I am, it was much more effective when I told myself.
What does your self-talk sound like? Do you tell yourself, “I am incredible. I have charm, personality, people like me, they like to be around me…” or does it sound more like, “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I’ll eat a worm…”? (Again, I’m probably aging myself with that childhood ditty.)
Isn’t it true that oftentimes we depend on outside sources to feel worthy? We care too much about what others think and not enough about our own dreams, our own goals, and specifically what we want to do with our lives. Perception is everything and yours will change when you realize that, for the most part, others are just like you. They have the same doubts, the same fears, and the same feelings of inadequacy. No matter what you hear from others, the choice of what you want to do with your life is exclusively yours. You can listen to the opinions of others, and then decide what you believe is best for yourself.
Visualization is a key component in your ultimate success. By visualizing what you want first and then creating the affirmations, or self-talk, to go along with your vision of your future, you set yourself up for victory. See yourself doing things that make you feel incredible. Imagine yourself in a group of people who are inspired by your charm. Notice the amazing people that you attract with your winning personality and see the smiles on the faces of your loved ones as they tell you how much fun you are to be around.
Stop beating yourself up when you say something or do something “wrong?” Next time you hear your inner voice throwing a hissy fit about yourself or your capabilities, take a deep breath, say “Cancel, cancel, cancel” and bring positive thoughts into your mind. It takes practice, especially if you’ve been down on yourself for awhile, but it’s so worth it.
This is your brain thinking negatively: :o( This is your brain thinking positively :o) Any questions?